today i thought something and said something and read something and wondered something and regretted something and i'm almost sure that i'll look back and think badly of myself, maybe, someday feeling as though i know what's going on and feeling as though i can see, really truly see instead of just this, but maybe i won't. maybe i never will. today was grey, the kind of grey you think about when the clouds are sloppy or when you're alone but aren't lonely. or maybe you are.

god grant me patience.