its a filmstrip morning. i walk through the icy confetti falling from the clouds, melting, sticking. it feels like a birthday party, a surprise party. congratulations should be in store. i congratulate myself, there being no one else around.

'way to make it through this year. way to be somewhat functional. way to make yourself breakfast and dress yourself. good job not breaking everything you came in contact with.'

but i don't really mean it. because today's not a party. it's not a surprise. it's exactly what i think it will be, a day with video clips from our friendship playing endlessly through my mind, complete with a soundtrack. a very nice soundtrack.
you would've loved it.
and it looked the same outside at eight as it did at noon as it does now.
grey grey grey grey.



congratulations.