impulse control.
my attempt at formality.

please god please god please.

telling words to the branches, shiver and shake in the wind, feeling heard, falling hard. the leaves are gone. the trucks made too much smoke, choked it out into the air. hold the doorknob before you go in, listen at the edge, wait, wait. clean, quiet. strange. run away, come back, run away, come back, drive off the road. duck under bridges. what are you afraid of, anyway? it doesn't sound right, something's not right, i'm sure. how does it feel knowing what you're up against? it's alright, it's ok. i don't mind.

because it feels good to accelerate, to feel like i'm going somewhere.

look up. the sun is exploding, the sky is on fire, white, yellow, orange, smoking, swirling. love in its most colorful form. i want to breathe it in, these vast expanses. i want to feel it smolder in my throat. i want to breathe without boundaries.

what i want is to be empty.

4,6 -6,4,5,3,7- 3,7,6,6 -9,4,3,7,3 -9,6,8- 2,7,3,
4- 5,2,9- 3,6,9,6 -6,6- 8,4,3- 2,6,5,3 -4,7,6,8,6,3
4- 7,7,2,9 -8,4,2,8- 7,6,6,3,8,4,4,6,4 -7,4,2,5,7 -6,3- 8,7
2,6,3- 7,3,8,7 -6,3- 3,6,9,6 -4,6 -9,6,8,7- 9,2,7,6 -2,7,6,7...

i counted and counted on my fingers, one by one by one, but when they told me about you, i couldn't help but wonder if it was time for a change of pace.
we could've witnessed something beautiful.

i can walk down the street and look at buildings, i can deconstruct them with my eyes. i can make them crumble. i can look at the lake and make it dry up, i can look at the water and make it overflow, it can cover all of us, we'll live underwater. i can look at myself, i can peel myself away, i can be transparent, i can see my veins, my bones through my translucent skin. i can see my heart beat. i can watch the electricity, it flows through the air, crawling through the sky, crackling, sparking. sparkling. i can. but i won't. i am so tired. i am so tired.