downtown

the snapshot of the day: the toothless shoeshiner who very earnestly tried to convince me to get a shoeshine despite the fact i was wearing flip flops. when he finally decided i wasn't going to let him put black polish on my feet, he started hitting on me."are you from tenessee? cuz you're the only ten i see!" i love people so much.

alright

more and more it seems i completely miss the point. "so, is this what that was all about?" "no, abby, you just don't get it, do you?" i guess not. i must not. i'm learning that there is almost always more joy and satisfaction in the process than in the result. and it's kinda hard to swallow for me. i don't really know why. but despite this, spring is coming along quite nicely.

also: dear laura;
i love you. you are awesome.
i don't really want you to move to arizona.
but i know you will make friends wherever you go.
come back and visit
love, abby

well?

are you ready
are you ready
for the downpour of your life?

hello go- getter

i think the sun has finally decided to stay. it was smiling all day long today. and i ate some jello. or slurped it. but what fun is jello if you can't slurp it? today was perfect.

in the summertime

we looked outside. there was a blizzard. we went outside anyway.
we ran in circles. a lot of circles. we ran up the hill in inch deep mud. we couldn't see. we ran back down. we ran a lot of hills. the coaches stood and watched. they watched us run and they yelled at us. we ran back and forth. we ran up the straightaway and down it. we sang to keep our minds off of it. we sang about the summer time. we ran a lot. we ran around the soccer fields. snow was everywhere. no, not snow. slush. the stuff people put in snow cones. but they're not fooling anyone. that is not real snow.

i wish

it stands to reason: if you put crap into something, you are gonna get crap out. you don't work hard, you get a bad grade. you eat something bad, you get sick. you hang out with people who fill you with lies, and suddenly you are a liar. if only it was easier to preserve ourselves. i feel like we cave and give up our entire belief systems at the slightest suggestion of opposition. if only i weren't so fragile. if only innocence was something you could hang on to.

its a miracle in it of itself that there are any decent people left at all.

...

every thought i think
every word i say
is snatched up by the wind
and floats away
we could drive far from this place
and no one would ever know
saying goodbye to you, my dear
seems like a crime to me
"surely not"
the phrase of the week
it plays in the record of my mind
as evidance of my disbelief
and still i see you in my head
and i do believe you'll never leave
we'll do all those things we said we'd do
but never seemed to get around to

breakfast

huh. i'm getting used to this feeling. you know the one where you don't feel anything. i've been temporarily put in a coma, please call back later. k thanks bye.
for some reason, sitting there doing nothing always reminds me of poached eggs. probably cause they sit there and do nothing. except quiver sometimes if you bump them. i don't want to be a poached egg. i don't particularly like poached eggs.

pants on fire

too bad all those things we said we'd do we never did. too bad we're liars. too bad you don't seem to care.

sticks and stones

la la la la la la i'm not listening la la la la la!

do what you want. please, don't let my being here hinder you. not like it would anyway. you are so selfish. you are so thoughtless. you are. i swear, we could be twins. we'll start a club all to ourselves called the "me" club and never let anyone else in and never talk to each other anyway. that sure does sound fun. you'd best be heading home now. it is way past your bedtime.
take me to the riot. so i can throw eggs at people.

six years old

a conversation i wrote in my journal because i loved it so much. not even involving me.

(at the airport)

man: "shoot, i forgot my razor. now my face is going to get all hairy."

son: "it's okay, daddy. when you die, all your hair falls out anyway."

man: "no, i don't think so. i think your hair keeps growing after you die."

son: ".......well, it will keep your face warm, anyway."